Landslide
by Mizuni-no-neko
Summary: Alfred has to make a choice. Marry Ivan for possibly the wrong reasons or lose him forever. Growing up can be hard to do sometimes, even for an adult. But does he want to change, or keep the life they've built together? RusAme


I listen to this song way too much as it is, so when Glee came out with their version I couldn't help but start thinking about what it really and truly meant. And then I thought about how it could apply in real life. So of course Ivan and Alfred were my first thoughts. That's where this comes from.

Enjoy, and rock out to Fleetwood Mac! 

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Alfred let his fingers dance over the strings of the guitar in practiced movements. He let his thoughts wander as the notes and chords wafted softly through the room. He stared out the window at the snowy hills, the light from the fire only doing so much to dispel the darkness in the cabin he was staying in with his best friend since he was five and his boyfriend of three years, Ivan. It had all been going so well, until this had happened. Why couldn't Ivan just leave well enough alone?

There was so much to think about and the song would only last so long. He was so confused, so scared. But there were other things, too. Happiness, hope, sadness, and maybe a bit of anger. He looked over at the coffee table, where he'd set the simple diamond ring in its black velvet box. There was the scource of this whole ordeal and all the feelings spinning through his head llike a tornado. That insignificant, simple, and yet beautiful diamond ring.

What did Ivan think he was, some kind of girl? He blushed and turned away from the ring, resolutely ignoring its presence while still acknowledging the meaning behind it. Ivan really wanted to get married? It seemed absurd to him, really. Not that he didn't want to get married, it was just so sudden. Sure they had fun and Alfred loved Ivan, like, alot. But getting married was such a big step, man. It was for keeps, you know? Once you took that leap it was till death do us part. Why not just leave it where they were now and if it lasted until one of them died, well then it was practically a marriage anyway, then, wasn't it?

But it might be nice to get married, too. A quick picture came to mind of him introducing Ivan as his husband and the blush he'd just gotten to go away was back with a vengance. He couldn't help the small, shy smile that lit up his face. Yeah, being married might be nice. They could move in together without Ivan's traditional and yet oddly gay friendly mother pitching a bitch fit and his own mom would probably go through the roof before coming back down to gush over napkin rings or something. She'd been hell to deal with when his sister got married.

But what if he said no? Would Ivan leave him? He was pretty sure Ivan would at least get his reasoning and not want to pressure him, but dammit what if? His heart clenched and he reached for the ring box, placing it on the guitar which he had placed flat in his lap. He stared at it like it contained all the secrets of the universe, but it was just a ring. It couldn't tell him if or when Ivan would leave. It couldn't tell him if he'd end this whole thing years from now, heartbroken and divorced. And Lord help them if they adopted kids before they figured out it wasn't going to work.

Goddammit, what was he supposed to do! He didn't want to get married just for fear that Ivan would leave him now, but he didn't want to not get married for fear that Ivan would leave him later. This was a serious commitment and he was scared out of his fucking mind just thinking about it. But even that wasn't easy, oh no. The fear was mixed in with alot of love and a small spark of excitement. There was no clear cut answer and Alfred hated it. He always knew what to do a split second before doing it. He was impulsive, headstrong, sure of himself. But this...he couldn't be impulsive with this.

It was having to think about it that made it so much worse. If he knew that he could just rush into an answer headlong and expect everything to turn out okay, he would. He would make another split second decision to effect the rest of his life and go on like nothing had happened. But he couldn't see the path before him. He needed some sort of guiding light, someone to show him the way. But that had always been Ivan, and he was too biased to help him this time.

But, then again, wasn't that the point? Ivan had always been there, since they were kids. When Alfred broke his arm jumping off the roof when they were 7 it was Ivan who carried him to the hospital. When Alfred's first crush had shot him down Ivan was the one who'd blasted the heads off of virtual aliens with him until he forgot all about her. And when Alfred figured out that he'd been in love with his best friend all along, Ivan was waiting there for him like it hadn't taken him 20 years to figure it out.

And it went both ways, too. When Ivan's father died, Alfred was the one who held his hand at the funeral. Every time his crazy sister was trying to seduce him, it was Alfred's house he stayed at. They'd been eachother's first and last and only and that should say something, right? What else was a marriage besides always being there for eachother and loving only your spouse? Without that it was just joint tax returns and making medical decisions when they were incapacitated. That wasn't very romantic, now was it?

He sighed and took the ring out of the box, turning it around in his hand and watching the way the light reflected off of it. He knew the diamond ring had started as a way to put a price on your fiance's virtue, but that didn't mean it wasn't a wonderful gesture. Still, he felt kind of like a girl with this thing. He looked around to make sure no one had come in while he was lost in his thoughts and slipped the ring on.

It was a perfect fit, oddly enough. He wondered how Ivan had gotten his ring size when he never wore rings. God it would be really creepy if he, like, measured it in hs sleep or something? If he still remembered his ring size from ordering class rings in high school well...at least it was slightly less stalkerish. He might have to ask him later. Then again, with Ivan there was always a chance that you don't really want to know.

"Alfred? Have you...have you reached a decision yet?" Ivan asked, peeking his head through the door. His voice was small and timid in a way he hadn't heard since they were five and Ivan was the new kid at school just looking for friends. It was in that instant that Alfred realised that Ivan was just as scared as he was. He knew the implications of that ring before he even bought it. He knew that if they did this they couldn't ever really take it back and yet he still wanted it. In that second he made the decision he couldn't reach at any time in the last hour.

"Yeah. I've made my decision." He said, standing up and settinghis guitar on the floor. He walked over to Ivan and smiled, clasping his hand with his own. Ivan could see the ring glinting on his finger and it warmed his heart with a hope he desperately tried to squash down.

"Ivan, baby. I didn't go through the first 25 years of my life dancing around the fact that I love you only to go back on it now. Now I don't know where this ride is gonna take us, but if I'm gonna go then I'm sure as hell gonna go with you." He said, pressing his lips to Ivan's lips.

"So this is a yes?" Ivan asked, arms circling around his waist.

"Da." He laughed, nodding his head and pulling Ivan down for another kiss. When they pulled away for air they stayed like that, just gazing into eachother's eyes lovingly. But a fleeting thought crossed Alfred's mind and Ivan only had a second before-

"Hey, how did you get my ring size?"

_Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?  
Can I handle the seasons of my life?  
Well I've been afraid of changing  
Cause I built my life around you  
But time makes you bolder  
Children get older  
And I'm getting older, too_

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There you go! I know I should be updating my chapter fic, but it's on the other computer! And this has been nagging me


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